A Close Encounter with a Rainbow

23 Apr

I have a huge announcement to make, and I really want to tell you right now.  However, it is a very important weekend.  Many people have additional family/church plans and I don’t want to deprive anyone of a a new holiday.  So, I am exerting my self-control muscles and waiting until Monday.

I am feeling so much better.  I knew I was feeling bad when I did not want to read any blogs.  That desire is returning.

Thursday’s eats were kind of boring… a random breakfast, recurrence of tomato soup, and a wrap which I duplicated Friday.  So, I think we should just pick up there.

Apparently my breakfast was feeling a bit shy about being photographed… Just kidding.  Today was a very windy day.  It seemed like it was coming from every direction!  Photographing food outside was a challenge!

This morning began with 2 pieces of toast, toasted twice.  I am not sure if the toaster has something against sprouted grains or what, but I always have to toast this bread twice.

I schmeared them with Wednesday’s revelatory concoction of pumpkin + pb.  Then I sprinkled on a few chocolate sprinkles chia seeds.

I knew what lunch was going to be, and the Veggie Burger did too!  We were both looking forward to a replication of a wrap I made the day before.

Hey that’s not a wrap?! I know.  I wanted you to be able to actually see the deliciousness.  Or as my friend Dee called it, “grass”.  

You want to know what is in that mix of grass? Sabre Roasted Garlic Hummus, alfalfa sprouts, cucumber, broccoli cole slaw, shredded carrots, cilantro, avocado, tomato, and (not pictured, because it was running late to the party) red onion.

(Sorry some of the photos look crazy.  They were super dark and I had to enhance them with iPhoto.)

All wrapped up to make room for the sides…

A Fruititizer of 1/2 clemen”tiny”, 7 grapes, and 1.5 strawberries ( I made the Burger a twin Fruitizer so all the other halves found a happy home tummy) and some oven roasted yellow squash with basil and oregano.

Such a colorful lunch.  Six colors in all.  Red, orange, yellow, purple, green, and brown. I should have throw in a couple frozen blueberries to round out that rainbow.  So close!

Yellow squash just says SUMMER to me.

This is my favorite way to cook squash.  It remains a little firm, and does not start getting juicy yet.

Oven Roasted Yellow Squash

1. Preheat oven to 400.  Wash the skin of the squash and dry.

2. Slice on a bias.

3. Mist with olive oil on both sides and place on a cookie sheet.

4. Sprinkle with basil, oregano, salt, and pepper.

5. Put in the oven for 10 minutes.

Simple, but delicious.

I had to throw this picture in because that little red tomato was trying to escape.  Apparently word has gotten around that there is a Veggie Monster in town and that she is ruthless.

Before work I had this snack of 1 small apple and a piece of bread with 1 T pb.

After work I had an unsweetened iced green tea from Starbucks.. for free!

I had to turn in my rental car today.  They had given me a huge SUV to drive.  Definitely not my first… or second…. or third choice. I am just one person.  So, the car shopping begins. Every time I have to do this it feels like I just did it, even though it will have been 3 years.

On a more serious note… Tonight I was at the gym and I saw two people walk in.  These are two people that probably do not feel right at home in the gym.  They likely do not feel right at home many places.

While I was not morbidly obese, I am well aware of the reality of being obese.

I felt like everyone in the room was just as aware of my size as I was.  I was conscious of the space I took up.  I was mindful of how I moved and what my body looked like when I moved.  I felt like I stuck out like I was wearing head-to-toe caution yellow amongst a crowd of off-duty Starbucks employees. I felt uncomfortable with my body, its size, its shape.

I’m not going to pretend that I never have thoughts about my body that are negative.  I do. But, the negative thoughts are less frequent, and less cruel.  I had a realization one day while walking into a store upon seeing my reflection of my actual size these days. I’m still surprised though when I need a smaller size or a piece of clothing that once fit, now hangs unattractively loose.  In some ways I think it will just take time for me to see myself as I truly am.

All that to say, I went out of my way to smile and say hello to the couple I saw. I wanted them to feel that they were at a friendly gym, a place where they belonged, a place where they are welcome. It takes guts to be overweight and approach the world boldly.  But, it also takes guts to approach yourself and admit to yourself that you are overweight and only you can do something about it. They were at the gym, so clearly they are ready to do what only they can do for themselves.

I have not arrived.  I am still on a journey, one that does not end.  I have a lifetime of lifestyle choices ahead of me.

I have won some battles.  I have lost some wars. The reality is that the war of weight is fought mostly in the mind.

Putting the right food in my mouth and spending time exercising can not change my thoughts and shed light on lies that are deeply engrained. There is only one Light that can bring true freedom.  I want that freedom.  I want truth and clarity in the darkest corners and the deepest parts.  I want healing from the emotional scars of years of obesity… many of which are self-inflicted wounds.

I can not do such a healing work.  There is no phoenix tear injection to cure those wounds.  For that I look to the Lord. I am asking Him to illuminate the darkest places of my heart and mind and identify the lies that I have believed.  Then I must work to take thoughts captive, replacing them with thoughts such as these…

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 NLT

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4 Responses to “A Close Encounter with a Rainbow”

  1. susan April 23, 2011 at 11:06 am #

    My fav entry thus far. Thanks Danielle- this one really hit home.

    • weightsandmeasures April 23, 2011 at 12:48 pm #

      Thanks for reading Susan!

      • susan April 27, 2011 at 2:36 pm #

        Thanks for writing! 🙂 Many of your entries really speak to me and where I am in my life right now. Sometimes reality is painful, but the truth hurts. Especially when its your own truth. 🙂

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  1. The Burger’s Birthday Bella « weightsandmeasures - April 24, 2011

    […] weightsandmeasures where food and fitness collide HomeLittle About MeRaces ← A Close Encounter with a Rainbow […]

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